


Pondering

by PastelDynasty



Series: CRinktober 2020 [1]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, But i wanted to participate in, CRinktober (Critical Role), CRinktober 2020, F/M, I don't really know how this tag thing works, I just started to write fanfiction on a whim, I think?, I've legit never written fanfiction, This is very last minute and my first piece so it definitely sucks, but i love everyone in c1 so everyones (sorta) here, the prompt is favourite character so it's about vex'ahlia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:13:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26767084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PastelDynasty/pseuds/PastelDynasty
Summary: Her mind often goes to him, pondering what life would be like with him now. It’s hard to believe he’s gone. That she’s never gonna have Vax barge in, running from his latest prank victim; usually Grog.Her thoughts begin to fade into something less enjoyable; a certain tomb. Thoughts of different possibilities. Where Percy didn’t set off those traps, or perhaps she avoided them.What if the goddess didn’t take his offer?--Vex'ahlia's life is much simpler now. Her family is all here, but her thoughts often drift to the one that's not.(CRinktober 2020 - Day 1: Favourite Character)
Relationships: Keyleth/Vax'ildan (Critical Role), Percival "Percy" Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III/Vex'ahlia
Series: CRinktober 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1952461
Kudos: 14





	Pondering

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first ever work of fanfiction (it's also last minute so it's kinda bad). But I've been meaning to get into writing and CRinktober 2020's prompts look cool so here we are.

Vex'ahlia had always been a morning. The early morning dew and the silence just before the sunrise are often perfect for optimal hunting conditions. In her younger days, Vex would wake up just before the crack of dawn, returning with fresh meat for the coming day. Occasionally she would bring back deer or elk, but a majority of the time it was rabbit. Being inexperienced, rabbit were much more common and easier to kill. Vax always hated rabbit; the first couple of times she bought some back he complained. He stopped after he realized it was getting on her nerves.

Vex'ahlia frowned as she opened the bedroom door. Perhaps it’s not best to be thinking about him right now.

Focusing on the task at hand, Vex closes the door and strides quickly towards the crying infant. Cooing with a gentle smile, Vex’ahlia picks up Vesper as she wails.

“Good morning my little darling. Up early are we today?” Vex begins to rock Vesper as her wailing dies down ever slowly. Humming a calming tune, Vex begins to walk towards the balcony.

It’s a cold morning; early spring is often as cold as the winters here in Whitestone. Stepping onto the balcony, the stunning image of Whitestone's castle view is on display. Yellow rays from the sun hit the city and the Parchwood beautifully.

This was all worth it.

To be here with Percival, starting their family and rebuilding Whitstone. To hunt in the mornings, and have afternoon tea with Casandra. Ending the day with a warm welcome home from her beloved and daughter.

It’s hard to believe it’s been over a year. So much happened in their two years of adventuring; it’s strange to feel more has happened within the last year.

Vex’s mind wanders, thinking of her family. Pike and Grog were leaving Vasselhiem in a couple of days. The two of them had been defending their champion title at the Crucible. The pair were pondering the idea of dropping by Whitestone for a visit.

Scanlan was god knows where. The gnomish bard tended to jump from place to place; either getting references for his book or doing morally ambiguous things as the Meat Man. He’s been popping by every once and a while, but perhaps he’ll drop by for longer if Pike is here.

It might be good for Percival to also take a look at the gnomes book. The two have had a small rough patch in the last years, but they’ve been slowly making up. Percy would be a good person to help edit his book; and also double check that it doesn’t stray too far into fiction. The tinkerer had helped Tary edit his novel a few months back. It would be good for Percy to stop working on the clock tower also. As wonderful as it is, Vex found herself dragging Percy to bed most nights.

If those three were coming into town, perhaps it would be nice to have Tary and Keyleth stop by. Tary did write that he just finished up his last adventure in his last letter, though Keyleth might be busy.

Keyleth was definitely due for a visit. The druid had been quite busy as of late, so perhaps they should plan a family visit to Zephrah instead. She’s been working hard the past year; hard enough that the rest of Vox Machina hasn’t seen her in quite a bit. The last time they went this long without seeing her was during their year break when she was in Zephrah with Va-

Vex’ahlia sighs; of course, her mind would wander back to him eventually. Vex glances down as Vesper pulls on her braid. She holds her daughter closer as she lets her mind reach there.

It’s been weird without her twin; she could count the number of times they had been apart on her fingers. One could say they had a “trial run” when he was in Zephrah, but in truth Vex never really got used to his abstinence; her annoying, irritating, but loving brother. The pain faded over time of course, but it still stings more often than not. Her mind often goes to him, pondering what life would be like with him now. It’s hard to believe he’s gone. That she’s never gonna have Vax barge in, running from his latest prank victim; usually Grog.

Her thoughts begin to fade into something less enjoyable; a certain tomb. Thoughts of different possibilities. Where Percy didn’t set off those traps, or perhaps she avoided them.

_What if the goddess didn’t take his offer?_

It’s something that Vex has avoided thinking about. It’s most definitely the least pleasant of her ponderings, but she sometimes can’t help it. Perhaps it's the survivors' guilt. Guilt that Vax essentially traded in her life for hers. If she had died there, he would still be here. Vox Machina could probably handle most of their other endeavors without her. He could be living with Keyleth, both of them happier than ever. Maybe they would've had their own-

Her thoughts are interrupted by a sudden knock behind her. She glances back to see her husband standing patiently. He looks at her solemnly.

“Vesper wake you up?” He asks. He pushes his glasses further up his nose as he walks towards Vex.

“I was getting up anyway,” Vex says. ”I have a meeting just before noon, so I have to get my hunting done earlier.” She feels arms wrap around her as Percy sets his chin on her shoulder. A moment passes between them.

“You’ll never stop missing him,” affirms Percy. “I think that your guilt, mind you misplaced guilt, will most definitely never go away.” Vex leans her head against Percy’s.

“That obvious?” she asks.

“You’ve gotten easier to read over the years. Though, it’s quite obvious you’ve got a lot on your mind when you don’t notice me approaching”

Vex gives a small chuckle. She melts into his warmth as she continues to gaze upon the Parchwood.

“It’s not as much guilt as it is just pondering.” Vex turns her head towards him. “I just wonder what would have happened if our roles were reversed”

Percy gives a smile. “I love your dear, but I don’t think Vax’ildan and I would last ten minutes married”

“You know what I mean.”

Percival's expression falters slightly. His eyes focus on Vex’ahlia, before moving down to Vesper.

“Well, if your fates were switched, we wouldn’t have her.” Percy motions to take Vesper as Vex hands her over. “Perhaps Kiki and Vax would’ve had their own. But in either position, both of you would never trade your own ill-timed fate for the other's young one.”

Fully holding Vesper, Percy begins to softly rock Vesper as she nuzzles into Percy’s chest.

“Hopefully one day it'll be enough, not replace him, but to fulfill you enough to numb that pain just a little.”

Vex gives him a warm smile.

Percy begins to step forward towards the edge of the balcony.

“Well, you best be getting ready then. I wish you luck on your hunt. Though preferably not rabbit; the chef hates them and I won’t lie and say I enjoy the taste.”

With a quick but longing kiss, Vex begins to head inside to get ready.

Perhaps the pain of losing him will never go away. But the love of those around her can keep her moving forward.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading if you did! In the future I'll probably plan in advance bit more. Feel free to comment if you wanna give me some criticism (or just shit on me lol).


End file.
